My job requires me to talk to people who do not want to talk to me

I make phone calls soliciting votes for a candidate running for senate. I like my job and I like my coworkers. I think my coworkers like me and if my job was animate, I feel as if it would like me too, maybe.

The people I call on the phones don't like me. Truth be told, I don't like most of them either.

Sometimes, I like to play games with them. I'll pretend my name is Woodrow or Sterling or Lou or Jean-Paul or Jean-Marc-Robert or a variety of made up names. This is fun because I get to be someone I'm not. I obviously lack comfort in my own skin.

When I'm calling people in the rural areas, I make my name Buck or Guy.

This endears me to them. I win their votes this way. Lying endears you to people, I have learned.

But some people are rude and sometimes I'm rude back.

I ask a man if he has a second to discuss the issues:

Him: No
Me: Really? One minute?
Him: No.
Me: Are you sure?
Him: Yes.
Me: Are you going to hang up?
Him: Yes.
Me: Wait.
Him: Why?
Me: You've just won a new car.
Him: What?
Me: Do you want to pick it up or have it delivered?
Him: Is this a joke to you?
Me: You hurt my feelings.
Him: How?
Me: You wouldn't talk to me.
Him: Sorry.
Me: It's okay. Do you have a minute?
Him: No. Good-bye.
Me: YOU TALKED MORE THAN A MINUTE I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT I KNOW YOUR ADDRESS.
Him: Bye.

Sometimes I feel bad after someone hangs up me. It really hurts yr self-esteem. Sometimes after I've been hung up on, I get angry and yell at the phone, telling it to die in a pit of AIDS, and then I remember that the phone can't get AIDS and that the senior citizen I had called probably will die soon and I took up some of their last moments. But this makes me feel good because when they die, I may be on their minds as that last fucker who called them.